Black Belt In Humor Gifts

Man attempting to karate chop a pile of bricks cheats by tying a brick to his hand

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Old Karate Master

'Frankendumpty'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Martial Arts

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

I love Kung Fu.

'I didn't know these cars had such a large tank.'

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

Turkey Black Fridays.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now!"

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

"The governor's granted your stay, but the zucchini fries tonight."

You have any baby pictures, Randy? I'm just wondering what you looked like before all those muscles. HOJ. Indeed I do, little buddy. In fact, they were professionally taken. By Sears? By Muscle & Fitness Magazine. I was the centerfold in their infants and toddlers edition. Figures.

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

Do you want to see my karate chop?

Tobacco black-marketing.

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

Joe posthumously advances to the next rank...

'You crazy, man? He's a T'ai Chi master! -- He'll BORE you to death!'

'How am I going to check my email now..?'

"I don’t want to get married but I’ve always loved the idea of being a widow."

One legged men.