Birdhouse Defender Gifts

Coming soon: Compulsory auction because of unpaid mortgage

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Fishing for Birds

'Now what?'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

A robin building a nest in a discarded box that held a commercially bought bird box

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Woodpecker House

Estate Agents.

"Eh, who cares if climate change is killing birds? I'll just make more."

Computer birdhouse.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Couldn't we just rend a second place down south?

Birds in a birdhouse watching TV.

'Which species do you think was in there previously?' (Birdwatchers buying a cuckoo clock).

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

Cuckoo bird to caged bird: 'I cuckoo every hour! Is it any wonder I'm a little crazy?'

"Damn thing's supposed to be attorney-proof."

Birdhouse Garage

A bird house is all that remains of a forest.

Birdhouse: Bank Owned - Foreclosure/Sale.

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

"My tactic is to feed the squirrels so much they're too fat to climb the bird feeder."

Bates Motel Birdhouse