Bird Keeping Gifts

''Free as a bird': Yeah right!'

What your pets do when you're not at home.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"Have you been giving that bird feed with steroids in again, Margaret...?"

'Dennis, have you seen my can of Pam?'

A budgie kept alone may start to lay eggs and sometimes continue to produce an abnormal amount...

'I told you to limit his feedings because he was too fat!'

Show Business Canary.

'I demand a second opinion!'

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

"At least we're talking."

'Things just don't seem the same since we got rid of the parakeets.'

- c'mon, you fat morsel...a few more inches! -

"I'm hoping to be out on parole soon."

'Perhaps you'd be happier with a dog!'

'We wanna open a budgie account...'

bird interprets modern art

Dove Coat

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'You know too much!'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs