Bird Enthusiast Gifts

"I'll never be Big Bird."

"It's like I'm actually walking."

Coping with ducks

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

"That was funny like a thousand miles ago."

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

'Honey, that guy's spying on us again with his binoculars!'

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

"You may approach the bench."

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

"It was the classic fight or flight response. Next time, try flight."

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'Take two aspirins and stick your head in the sand.'

"Actually, my species is not nocturnal: I'm just a teenager..."

'Well, you walk like a duck, you quack like a duck... May I ask who brought you up?'

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"Ex-cuse me! We're trying to hold a meeting here."

'Have you tried switching OFF and ON again?'

Pigeon Little

Chicken: 'It's some sort of pecking order.'

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

Ed's Car Wash,

"The candy's for after dinner."

Aren't we entitled to compensation, since they stole twittering and tweets from us?'

"God, I hate to fly."

'Great first practice. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to land.'

"Don't repeat this."

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

'Still no sign of life.'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

Endangered waterfowl with sign: 'Will work for habitat.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.