Bird Enthusiast Gifts

"I'll never be Big Bird."

"It's like I'm actually walking."

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

Coping with ducks

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

"That was funny like a thousand miles ago."

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

'Honey, that guy's spying on us again with his binoculars!'

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

"You may approach the bench."

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

"It was the classic fight or flight response. Next time, try flight."

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'Take two aspirins and stick your head in the sand.'

"Actually, my species is not nocturnal: I'm just a teenager..."

'Well, you walk like a duck, you quack like a duck... May I ask who brought you up?'

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"Ex-cuse me! We're trying to hold a meeting here."

Pigeon Little

'Have you tried switching OFF and ON again?'

Chicken: 'It's some sort of pecking order.'

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

Ed's Car Wash,

"The candy's for after dinner."

'Great first practice. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to land.'

"God, I hate to fly."

"Don't repeat this."

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

Endangered waterfowl with sign: 'Will work for habitat.'

'Still no sign of life.'

"So! When's the big day?"

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.