Bill Evader Gifts

"My boyfriend's got a split personality. Every time the check comes he splits!"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Binge Watch

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"He's not good with change!"

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

The coward's way out.

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"I got an extension.'

"How much do we owe them?"

"Stop it. You're gonna make homework come out of my nose."

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

Island Rent Due.

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."

"I think the plumber wants his bill paid!"

"This is my furlough day. I just came in to escape the yard work at home."