Bikini Buffs Gifts

"I've heard of a 'camel toe' but that is ridiculous."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Summer wants.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

...where bikini lines and wrinkles meet

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Two piece outfits only.

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

Easter Island

'Honestly, Clara, that bikini leaves little to the imagination And how long are you going to stand there, holding your stomachs in'

'I've never done this before.'

'Thanks to your bikini, we should make land by nightfall.'

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

Bathing suit.

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

"She's had so much work done that she's starting to look like her mother."

"Have you ever been young before?"

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

It's called, 'Paint a Picture, Buster, It'll Last Longer!'

'Is this the way to the beach?'

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'