Bikini Aficionado Gifts

Bikini Car Thieves $100

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

Golf ball lands in womans cleavage

'Nice material!'

"Everything goes right to my hips."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"Underweird bras."

Loofah Lady

Summer wants.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Happy Brithday

Mankini - One size fits all.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

"He'll do anything to get his underwear sponsors a mention!"

Easter Island

Two piece outfits only.

'Honestly, Clara, that bikini leaves little to the imagination And how long are you going to stand there, holding your stomachs in'

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

'Your bath's ready, dear. You may want to run some cold water before you get in'.

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

'Thanks to your bikini, we should make land by nightfall.'

'Remind me again, are we hopeless old has-beens or fashionable retro?'

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

Jacuzzi

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

'Follow your Bliss and the bills will follow'

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"