Bikini Connoisseur Gifts

'You're drooling on me!'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Summer wants.

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

WC problem.

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Two piece outfits only.

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

Easter Island

'Honestly, Clara, that bikini leaves little to the imagination And how long are you going to stand there, holding your stomachs in'

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

"You're so vein."

'Thanks to your bikini, we should make land by nightfall.'

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

'Don't worry. We'll fit into these things by spring.'

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

Which one of these things is the soap?

"WOW! Talk about rip tide!!"

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'

'Is this the way to the beach?'

It's called, 'Paint a Picture, Buster, It'll Last Longer!'

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'

I'm glad I'm wearing boxers!

"I'm sure Mistress meant well: The cat on the box is smiling, but I agree, this tastes and smells horrible..."

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Birdbath & Beyond

'Mine!'