Bath Connoisseur Gifts

The Great Bathe

The idiom "to take a bath" is utterly nonsensical. This feels nothing like losing lots of money in a bad investment.

'My Mom invented baths!'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'More bubbles!'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Loofah Lady

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

Man's rubber duck waits for him to have bath

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

WC problem.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

'Don't just stand there, Mum - Your admiral has lost the soap!'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

Bathing and Showering.

Man in Bath

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'