Big City Battler Gifts

"Due to a bomb scare at Times Square, we're being held in the station. Please remain numb."

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Fries and kids

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Run, Mike, Run!

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

fish in a bottle...

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

Big Burgers.

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

"When even the abominable snowman has had enough, its time for us to turn back."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

buck stops here-taxes...mine

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

Mr. Winter blast returns.

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

'I worry that Henderson's becoming too well entrenched.'

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."

"It's a mug's game!"

"...And thanks to our new budget, class sizes are a low 40:1 ratio!"

Credit card repayments are for life, not just for Christmas.