Backyard Battler Gifts

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"Don't worry. . . they will find us. . . we're still in the backyard. . . I just didn't cut the grass. . ."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Run, Mike, Run!

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Your Country Needs MOO!

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"A little high and inside."

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"Well, a ringer and a laner - looks like you win honey..."

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

"The long winter has gotten you out of shape, dad. Your back locked up. If it was your computer, I could help you."

This had the potential to get really nasty...

The planned obsolescence blues

Builder adjusting a wall.

Internot - No broadband in your area.

How To Play Tennis

'She says I'm the neighbor from hell?! Just tell her to keep her bloody dog quiet.'

"Don't mess with me, man - I'll make you sneeze your head clean off."

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

'Let's face it Frank, you just don't have a green thumb.'

Mother nailing child into bunk bed.