Backyard Battler Gifts

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"Don't worry. . . they will find us. . . we're still in the backyard. . . I just didn't cut the grass. . ."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Run, Mike, Run!

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

"A little high and inside."

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"Well, a ringer and a laner - looks like you win honey..."

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

"The long winter has gotten you out of shape, dad. Your back locked up. If it was your computer, I could help you."

This had the potential to get really nasty...

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

Builder adjusting a wall.

The planned obsolescence blues

Internot - No broadband in your area.

'She says I'm the neighbor from hell?! Just tell her to keep her bloody dog quiet.'

How To Play Tennis

"Don't mess with me, man - I'll make you sneeze your head clean off."

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

"Maybe we could move the horseshoe pit a little farther from the house."