Backyard Player Gifts

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

"The pH level seems a little off."

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

Beer Garden Kit

Leaves drop from trees and bounce off a trampoline.

Human males marking territory.

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"How?"

'Times sure have changed. When I was your age, I made them from scratch.'

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'

"Well, I'll be darned. It does come with its own creature."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"She said they were going out back to look for dinosaurs."

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'