Backyard Golfer Gifts

'I'm your best friend, so I'll be honest-- do yourself a favor and take up ping-pong.'

'I thought you said you wanted me to get the crab grass out of the yard!'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

"Dad, get your own sandbox!"

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

"How?"

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Human males marking territory.

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

"This paternity leave plays havoc with your handicap."

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"A little high and inside."

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'Where's your other glove?'

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

Getting rid of the opposition.

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

"Did you get some work done?"

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

Luckily I hit the pin!

"Well, a ringer and a laner - looks like you win honey..."