Recreational Golfer Gifts

Getting rid of the opposition.

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Golf lessons

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'Don't move.'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

"Duh!"

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"Your kind of course, dad."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Where's your other glove?'

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO