Playful Golfer Gifts

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Goalie Wall.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Where's your other glove?'

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

Javelin

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

Getting rid of the opposition.

Luckily I hit the pin!

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Pest control.

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"My kind of course."

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

Using Science In Fashion Design

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'