Funny Golfer Gifts

'Call my chiropractor!'

'You told me to address the ball, so I did!'

"That's not a divot so much as a major geological event."

Keep calm, play golf.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

Mulligan's first mulligan.