Playful Golfer Pillows

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

God in the bunker.

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Goalie Wall.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

'Where's your other glove?'

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

Getting rid of the opposition.

Luckily I hit the pin!

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Javelin

Pest control.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"My kind of course."

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'Do you mind if I play through?'