Casual Golfer Gifts

'Here's a bottle of water and what's left of my turkey sandwich. ... You have my word, Bob. When we finish this round, get back to the clubhouse...'

"My kind of course."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I'll take a dozen balls and a side order of fries.'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Where's your other glove?'

'I play golf religiously. . .Every Sunday.'

"Both my wife and my daughter are in hospital."

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Am I near the ball?

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

'This hole was designed by the club barman.'

First Tee Bar and Grill: No golf shoes, no service.'

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

Golfers find golf cart reck

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Luckily I hit the pin!

'Machete.'

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

'A hole in twelve. That's personal best for me!'

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

'The only thing he has in common with Tiger is the woods.'

"Sorry Dick. I kinda sliced that one."

'Please remember that I'm only seeing you because I couldn't get a tee time.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Knights of the bedside table.

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."