Casual Athlete Gifts

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

"I stretch and do yoga every morning. I call it tying my shoes."

'Time!!'

'I don't exercise religiously.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

'What's the idea of telling everyone I cheat at tennis?' - 'Sorry, I didn't know it was a secret.'

A Flag in One

Wine Shotput

"The only time I step up to the plate is when it's loaded with food."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Snail Racing

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

Caddy With A Cool Box

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Use it or lose it.

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Where's your other glove?'

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

"Next bench is four steps."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

Carrying burdens - Ghetto blaster