Backyard Entertainer Gifts

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

'Our patio heater won't hurt the environment, it's nuclear powered.'

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Beer Garden Kit

A man steals a steak with a fishing rod

"Genius! Backyard activity on a cruise ship."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Canape?

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Entertainment systems

"The pH level seems a little off."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Human males marking territory.

'Times sure have changed. When I was your age, I made them from scratch.'

Leaves drop from trees and bounce off a trampoline.

"How?"

I know they told me not to bark