Backyard Party Host Gifts

Lobster hot tub.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Cocktails on the verandah.

Wine Lady

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Join me in a Martini?

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Canape?

Party time.

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Barbecue

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

Mini Bar

An angry barbecue.

Champagne

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'