Backyard Hosting Gifts

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Aprons

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Licensed to grill.

"What about the five that fell through?"

"Well-done, alright?"

Bird Bath.

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'Propane ran out.'

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

Beer Garden Kit

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"Shall I phone the fire brigade yet."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again!'