Backyard Living Gifts

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Bird Bath.

Glastonbury. After.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'Life is great' down on the farm.

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Country Bumpkin.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"This never happened."

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

High Riders of the Old West

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Turtle Trailer Court

I fart more than that!

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Not to mention the park view."

Beginning Yarder.