Backyard Living Gifts

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Bird Bath.

Glastonbury. After.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Country Bumpkin.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"This never happened."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

High Riders of the Old West

I fart more than that!

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

Beginning Yarder.

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Not to mention the park view."

Hello from the shed.