Backyard Bliss Gifts

Noisy neighbours - wind chimes.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"This never happened."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Hello from the shed.

Bird Bath.

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Human males marking territory.

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"How?"

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'He's in charge of out 'Lost-and-Buried' department.'

"I see Mom won't let you go to the lake again."

"What … have … you … done?"

Strikeout Dog

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Did you get some work done?"

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"Well, a ringer and a laner - looks like you win honey..."