Backyard Bliss Gifts

Noisy neighbours - wind chimes.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"This never happened."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Hello from the shed.

Bird Bath.

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"How?"

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Human males marking territory.

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

Living next door to area 51

"I see Mom won't let you go to the lake again."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'He's in charge of out 'Lost-and-Buried' department.'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"What … have … you … done?"

Strikeout Dog

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

"Did you get some work done?"

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?