Backyard Bliss Enjoyer Gifts

Hello from the shed.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"This never happened."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'Good timing, Pal, good timing.'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Bird Bath.

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

"The pH level seems a little off."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"How?"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

'Times sure have changed. When I was your age, I made them from scratch.'

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Human males marking territory.

Leaves drop from trees and bounce off a trampoline.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

"What … have … you … done?"

'John... is that a collar?'

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'

"Well, I'll be darned. It does come with its own creature."

'He's in charge of out 'Lost-and-Buried' department.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"I see Mom won't let you go to the lake again."

"She said they were going out back to look for dinosaurs."