Backyard Gifts

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

Bird Bath.

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

'Propane ran out.'

"How?"

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Human males marking territory.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"What … have … you … done?"

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Strikeout Dog

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

Barbecue salesman pointing at cooker - "Top of the line."

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

"He likes his bones smoked."

"Did you get some work done?"

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

The King Can Do No Wrong