Backyard Design Gifts

Garden Envy.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Bird Bath.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

'He took a fetching class.'

"How?"

Human males marking territory.

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Sheds

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

Strikeout Dog

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

Dun Decking

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

Chelsea flower show sewage