Backyard Party Gifts

Barbecue salesman pointing at cooker - "Top of the line."

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

"He likes his bones smoked."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Beach Barbecue

Canape?

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

Champagne

'Propane ran out.'

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

Apparently summer's going to start next month.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

Now that, my friend, is a beer garden!

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Don't you hate it when the dip falls into the chips?"

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

String Quartet

'Yes, I do find motherhood fulfilling. However, I find being a sales Vice-President even more fulfilling.'

Who wants theirs well done?

"Breast or wing?" (Phoenix rising from barbecue).