Backyard Entertainer T-Shirts

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

'Our patio heater won't hurt the environment, it's nuclear powered.'

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Beer Garden Kit

"Genius! Backyard activity on a cruise ship."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Canape?

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

Entertainment systems

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

"The pH level seems a little off."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"How?"

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

'Times sure have changed. When I was your age, I made them from scratch.'

Leaves drop from trees and bounce off a trampoline.

Human males marking territory.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.