Outdoor Entertainer T-Shirts

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

"He says there's a clause in the house insurance which stops him from cooking inside."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I love your novelty lawn sprinkler."

Canape?

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

The heat and summer shopping

"Don't ask them again how to grow a beer garden."

A balloon salesman is stuck with a pin and his balloons fly off.

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'No I'm not the waiter. We sell outdoor furniture.'

'Anyone lost a mobile?'

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

'I told you that cats were independent and did whatever they wanted to.'

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

"We've built on their ancestral moonshining grounds."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Skiing.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown on bike.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Extreme miming"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."