Backyard Comedian T-Shirts

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Gardening for Beginners

Well, Barbara, you can teach me the difference between a weed and a flower all day long, but I can't guarantee my aim is all that accurate anyway.

'Oh, look. It's the first sign of spring... Mr. Vivona outside in his underwear.'

Dave always likes to amuse himself by accusing the sausages of heresy before he throws them on the fire!

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Beer Garden Kit

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'It's only a slug Norman.'