Garden Comedian T-Shirts

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

Damping Off

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'The soil's so dry - we need one of Charlie Dimmock's special water features!'

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Worry about global warming and your funny tropical fish...when you've cleared all those weeds off the driveway."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Paving over the window-box

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'I'd invite you in but there's no room.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'