Rural Comedian T-Shirts

This one needs re-booting!

Botox!

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Clandestine cows.

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Early American Think tank

COWS: Spare cow

A centi-stampede.

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."