Rural Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

'And then, this morning, I suddenly noticed she didn't look so good.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Shee-yoot. Now we ain't even a one-horse town.'

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

Lancashire hotspot.

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Hello! Hello? Oh...haha! That's my ringtone!"

Two grain silos: One 'For Us' and one 'For taxes, bad weather.'

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Sinking Cow

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Looks like I'm cooking everyone's Christmas dinner again!'

Early American Think tank

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

"We need any eggs?"

"Last time anyone hear tell of an elevator stopping in these parts was 1993 or so. . ."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

COWS: Spare cow