Barking Battler Gifts

'She says I'm the neighbor from hell?! Just tell her to keep her bloody dog quiet.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Dog phrenology

Sonata for Piano and Dog

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

One giant bark for dogkind.

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'No, no, no I said SIT'

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but we've had some reports of a dog barking."

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'Stop barking, Winston!'

Out Of Order

"I bark and bark non-stop, and then they come home. It works everytime."

'Honey, I think it's cute that grumpy sings along with universal idols.'