Biblical Story Analyst Gifts

"I told you that you shouldn't have included the woodworms..."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Sistine Selfie

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"King Herod sent us."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Ark under giant brolly.

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."