Biblical Story Appreciator Gifts

David and Goliath, the rift begins,

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Regifts of the Magi

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Nanki Poo

So … how did you two meet?

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Moses' TV guide.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

Need tickets.

'If Adam and Eve didn't have any clothes, why didn't they go to the mall?'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

Jack and the Beanie stock.

Mass Exodus.

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"