Bible Story Critic Gifts

'Technically speaking, though, isn't Eve under age?'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Regifts of the Magi

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

Moses' TV guide.

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

Forbidden Vegetable