Biblical Humor Buff Gifts

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Moses the barber - 'Hey, neat part!'

'Did You say 'ark' or 'ork'?'

'We'll let the accountant hide the fact we've only got one unicorn'

The seventh plague of Egypt was door-to-door salesmen

"Kinky."

Noah goes fourth, and multiplies.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'