Biblical Humor Buff Pillows

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Moses the barber - 'Hey, neat part!'

'I think I separated my shoulder.'

'Did You say 'ark' or 'ork'?'

'We'll let the accountant hide the fact we've only got one unicorn'

'That's the last time you talk me into one of these party cruises!'

The seventh plague of Egypt was door-to-door salesmen

"Kinky."

Noah goes fourth, and multiplies.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Well, we needed the rain."

Fishing with God

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."