Bible Trivia Buff Gifts

I think these were meant for you. Sit. Speak. Shake. Heel. Stay. Wait. Down. Fetch. Come.

"Just my luck."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Before the Internet

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Look man, no wings!'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Bible Bloopers

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'