Beverage Making Gifts

"If they gave us lemons, you'd make lemonade, but I'd make limoncello."

"This place has the best happy hour."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'No ice.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Shaken not stirred

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

You've Had Enough!

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Beer Stall

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Balancing two espresso martinis

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

The Alpha Seltzer