Beverage Gifts

Zeke only drinks craft hootch form a micro-still nowadays.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

A Good Batch.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

The Alpha Seltzer

You've Had Enough!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'