Beverage Maker Gifts

A Peek Inside the Monster Soda Factory

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

The Alpha Seltzer

You've Had Enough!

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

National Coffee Day

Wine taster with mineral water

"I'll have the usual."

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

How About Serving Us For a Change

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

California Beverages Map

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."