Best Friend With A Quirky Pet Gifts

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"This never happened."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Christmas Pets

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

Roget's Pet

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Humans are strange."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Chasebook

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Garbage Piñata

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Labrador Non-retriever

Separation

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dog scared of a toad jumps onto a 'Beware the Dog' sign.

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

Examination.