Best Friend Who Loves Pets Gifts

Every Dog Has His Day

Bitchbark Canoe

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Canine Scentipede

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

PET THEORIES

Chasebook

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"Humans are strange."

Garbage Piñata

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Pet Entertainers

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'