Friend Who Adores Dogs Gifts

'His flea collar is about to expire.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

A large leaf falling on a dog

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'Super Dog'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"This never happened."

Canine Scentipede

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

'They're dog roses!'

"Your love gives me strength."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Out, damned Spot.'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Humans are strange."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Chasebook

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'