Friend Who Adores Dogs Gifts

'His flea collar is about to expire.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

A large leaf falling on a dog

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Super Dog'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Canine Scentipede

"This never happened."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'They're dog roses!'

Christmas Pets

"Your love gives me strength."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Chasebook

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Humans are strange."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Garbage Piñata

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'