Friend Of A Dog Lover Gifts

"We should keep the dog in on Firework night."

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

A large leaf falling on a dog

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Super Dog'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Collies Without Borders

Canine Scentipede

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'They're dog roses!'

"Your love gives me strength."

'Out, damned Spot.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

PET THEORIES

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Pet Entertainers

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,