Animal-crazy Friend Gifts

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Mixed Doubles.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

Lamb Noise.

Raised by Dogs

Canine Scentipede

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

"This never happened."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Christmas Pets

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"Humans are strange."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Chasebook

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Garbage Piñata

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Labrador Non-retriever

Separation

Life's a Bench.

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).