Animal-crazy Friend Gifts

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Mixed Doubles.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

"This never happened."

Lamb Noise.

Raised by Dogs

Canine Scentipede

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

"Humans are strange."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Chasebook

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Labrador Non-retriever

Separation

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Picnic with thieves