Benefit Buffs Pillows

Social Security benefits are rising...But the system's runnin out of bread.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Labor Day '19

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

Conspiracy Theory Books

Toy Store/Battery Store

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Zika Mosquitos

"It's a plant based solution."

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.